Warning: functional use of sarcasm
Disclaimer: A statement that denies something, esp. responsibility.
From Anglo-Norman French desclamer.
des- (expressing reversal) + Latin clamare ‘call out.’
e-mail disclaimers are often just as amusing as a Dilbert cartoon.
Concocted by lawyers who probably use the instruction manual to set the time on an alarm-clock.
They simply don't fully understand what they are trying to capture with their legal babble.
When a member of such a (copy & paste nonsense) disclaimer using organisation is shown the fact that their disclaimer contains statements which are impossible to comply with, contradicting and plain silly,
the default response is "It was made by our legal advisors. We will leave it as it is!".
? Do such organisations not care about showing structural incompetence to the outside world ?
No, the source of the problem is that most people simply find it all far too complex to deal with. So they follow what seems 'official', even after it is proven to be wrong! They could just ask us to get it all in order, but that would mean leaving the herd behind to get ahead, and that takes a bit of courage which is seldom found in a conformity driven office culture ;-)
Examples:
with just one issue highlighted each.
From: <...@isaca.org>, ISACA/ITGI Research Coordinator.
"The information in this email is confidential and intended solely for the addressee. Access to this email by anyone else is unauthorized. Any copying or further distribution beyond the original recipient is not intended, and may be unlawful.
The opinions enclosed are those of the sender, and do not necessarily reflect those of ISACA/ITGI"
[May no longer make a backup of the company email servers?]
From: <no-reply@rabobank.nl>
"Denk aan het milieu voordat u dit e-mailbericht afdrukt.
The information contained in this message may be confidential and is intended to be exclusively for the addressee. Should you receive this message unintentionally, please do not use the contents herein and notify the sender immediately by return e-mail."
[Have to reply to a no-reply address !?]
From: <....@pwc.com>
"This e-mail is intended only for the person to whom it is addressed. If an addressing or transmission error has misdirected this e-mail, please notify the author by replying to this e-mail. If you are not the intended recipient you must not use, disclose, print or rely on this e-mail.
PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP may monitor outgoing and incoming e-mails and other telecommunications on its e-mail and telecommunications systems. By replying to this e-mail you give your consent to such monitoring."
[If i think i am the intended recipient, i may rely on this e-mail and disclose it?]
From: < .... @lr.org> , Area Technical Manager Central Europe, ISO27001 Certification
"LRQA
Lloyd’s Register Nederland B.V.
Improving performance, reducing risk
Lloyd’s Register Nederland B.V. is a subsidiary of Lloyd's Register EMEA. Lloyd’s Register EMEA (Reg. no. 29592 R) is an Industrial and Provident Society registered in England and Wales. Registered office: 71 Fenchurch Street, London, EC3M 4BS, UK. A subsidiary of the Lloyd’s Register Group Limited. Lloyd’s Register Group Limited, its affiliates and subsidiaries, including Lloyd's Register Nederland B.V., and their respective officers, employees or agents are, individually and collectively, referred to in this clause as 'Lloyd’s Register’. Lloyd’s Register assumes no responsibility and shall not be liable to any person for any loss, damage or expense caused by reliance on the information or advice in this document or howsoever provided, unless that person has signed a contract with the relevant Lloyd’s Register entity for the provision of this information or advice and in that case any responsibility or liability is exclusively on the terms and conditions set out in that contract."
[Can you spot the Monty python flying circus influence?]
From: <...@triodos.nl>, The CISO with a Masters in Information Technology Security, TU/e.
"Triodos Bank is co-founder of the Global Alliance for Banking on Values, a global network of leading sustainable banks. Visit www.gabv.org
Information contained in this e-mail and any attachment is confidential and is intended for the use of the addressee only. If you are not the intended recipient please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail and delete this message (including any attachment) from your system. Any dissemination, distribution, copying or other use of this information without our prior consent is strictly prohibited.
Triodos Investment Management BV, Triodos Bank NV or its group companies shall not be liable for the proper transmission nor for the complete transmission of the information contained in this message or for any delay in its receipt. The contents of any attachment to this e-mail may contain software viruses which could damage your computer system. We cannot accept liability for any damage which you suffer as a result of software viruses."
Received: from vulnerable NL010VN0149.Triodos.Corp ([10.10.100.37]) id v14.03.0210.002
X-Barracuda-Connect: UNKNOWN[10.10.100.41]
X-Barracuda-Encrypted: ECDHE-RSA-AES256-SHA
X-Barracuda-URL: https://10.64.16.11:443/cgi-mod/mark.cgi
X-Virus-Scanned: by bsmtpd at triodos.com ,Code version 3.2, rules version 3.2.3.27156
[uuuhmm.. kinda like, you know, or something!?]
From: compliance.officer@dnb.nl
"The information sent in or enclosed with this email is confidential and intended solely for the addressee. If you have received this email but are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately and delete the message. Please be advised that the unauthorised use, disclosure, dissemination or distribution of information is prohibited by law and may entail liability.
The sender cannot be held liable for damage in connection with risks inherent in electronic message transfer. The sender has taken standard precautions to verify no computer viruses are present in this email or any attachments it may contain. However, the presence of malware, such as viruses, cannot be ruled out."
P0810300.dnb.nl <meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Exchange Server">
Disposition: automatic-action/MDN-sent-automatically; displayed
[Why can't DNB simply rule out: the presence of malware, such as viruses? It is easy to do so. And who is liable , if the sender of the malware isn't, in their opinion...]
From: ..... - BD/DCS/NCSC/AMR <.....@nctv.minvenj.nl>
Via vulnerable exposed server: @GDISW0457.ad.minjus.nl (10.42.146.45 / fe80::6464:465b:67a6:de53); with Microsoft version id v15.0.1210.3
"This message may contain information that is not intended for you. If you are not the addressee or if this message was sent to you by mistake, you are requested to inform the sender and delete the message. The State accepts no liability for damage of any kind resulting from the risks inherent in the electronic transmission of messages.
Ministry of Security and Justice"
["The State accepts no liability" sums it all up for NCSC/NCTV/CSR ]
And so forth, and so on, etcetera , ...
If your organisation uses a similar e-mail footer or web disclaimer
Then it may be time for a chat
